Why my word for the year changed my life– TRUST

Last year was the first year that I had ever chose a “word of the year”.  In my Small Group – we all chose one word – a word that would inspire, encourage and impact our lives. A word that would help us focus better in our spiritual, mental, physical and family life.   I chose “TRUST”.  It is so funny how that word became so important to me – I thought it was a strange word for me but I got confirmation from God over and over.  I heard a song on the Christian radio by Lauren Daigle called, “I will Trust in You”.  (Funny story I thought it was Adele and I started researching what the song was called because it affected me so much!)  I dealt with trust issues with my daughter during the year – she was almost 18 years old and was going through the “I am an adult today – treat me like one…to I am still a kid and I don’t know what I’m doing.”

I also felt God calling me to do things for him but I wasn’t always clear what they were.  It wasn’t drawn out and it wasn’t the right time for me. However, I would hear “I Will Trust in You” song on the radio and I would feel this deep intense feeling it was God talking to me.  I wish he would just talk to me clearly – I am not always great at picking up on clues.  I would hear God telling me to TRUST him.  He gave me this desire to quit my job and start a nonprofit ministry.  Well funny how things work out but one of my best friends and I decided that we should start a ministry.  (That’s another blog topic soon).  I had a great job and was good at it but I became unsatisfied and wasn’t as productive as I have always been. Something was going on!  I thought it was my health issues but I knew that I was beginning to feel like I should make a change.

I wrestled with God and prayed and talked to my husband.  I still wanted confirmation from God because why would he want me to quit my job?  I still had some credit card bills and needed to save some money for daughter’s college and retirement.  I would get sign after sign from God through that one song and through conferences that I would attend – one session was about Trust.  I received recommendations from friends to read books such as, “The Speed of Trust” by Stephen M.R. Covey.

So I made up my mind to quit my job and started preparing.  I received a phone call from a friend and he wanted to talk to me about a position with his company – it was a company that I admired so much.  He wasn’t going to approach me but when he described what he wanted – he even said someone like Leigh Christian.  The two people he was talking to suggested he call me.  We worked out a plan and I was able to maintain a job with complete flexibility and salary that I could work with.  So what I am trying to say – once I followed GOD and trusted him – something great came along.  One year later, I am still working for that company and have expanded and started a consulting business as well.  Am enjoying my life but most of all enjoying my time with God.  Letting him manage my life and trusting him has been great.  I still make mistakes and still am not the Christian that I want to be, but I am trusting more!

I found a verse (Well a passage) in Proverbs 3 that just guided me through last year.  I try to read it as often as I can – even this year.  It is a great reminder.  I need it.  While I still think I know more about what I should be doing instead of relying on God ALL of the time, I am making progress.  Trust is so hard.  Funny thing is that GOD has never let me down.


Proverbs 3:5-12     The Message (MSG)

Trust God from the bottom of your heart;

don’t try to figure out everything on your own.

Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go;

he’s the one who will keep you on track.

Don’t assume that you know it all.

Run to God! Run from evil!

Your body will glow with health,

your very bones will vibrate with life!

Honor God with everything you own;

give him the first and the best.

Your barns will burst,

your wine vats will brim over.

But don’t, dear friend, resent God’s discipline;

don’t sulk under his loving correction.

It’s the child he loves that God corrects;

a father’s delight is behind all this.


Encouraging you to TRUST….GOD.




I am “ME” again!

2015 was a blur for me…literally. I really had a hard year. I had so many health issues, my daughter and my mom had health issues, and I was just physically and mentally spent. One thing different than usual though – when I get completely ruined down – is that I didn’t feel spiritually spent this time. That is truly what got me through these rough times. I became closer to God and turned to him even more. I relied on him instead of myself and I made it through somehow! We forget how good God is to us and that we need to rely on him ALWAYS.

My favorite Bible Verse: Jeremiah 29:11   For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

How amazing is that – God has planned out my life – how can I go wrong? Well it is so easy to go wrong – I know – I do it all the time! I make plans without getting advice from God. I tell him what I am going to do instead of listening to him. It’s hard! I want him just to make it easy for me but I have learned that all the twists and turns and mistakes have made me stronger and my journey was planned that way.
So, I thought I would share about some of my struggles – maybe it will help you know my thoughts and my frame of reference. I hope that you can relate or know that others may feel the same way or made the same mistakes. I am so busy taking care of others that I don’t focus on myself and 2015, I just about fell apart. I knew I felt bad and something was wrong, but I kept trudging along. I had my mom and my daughter; both, that had more urgent health issues and I needed to be the caretaker. I had lots of work on my job that I needed to accomplish and I just couldn’t take the time. I had community and church things that were always pressing and needed my attention. I always put other things in front of taking care of myself. I thought I was being selfish if I took care of me! WOW – I learned the very hard way when I almost had a physical and mental breakdown. I knew all last year that I was depressed, not confident, jealous, and grumpy and even isolated myself at times (I am a PEOPLE person – so this was something new). I didn’t even understand who I was and that made me even more stressed! Who was this person inside my frail, worn out body? I had NO energy, had brain fog, just felt terrible all over! I ached from head to toe…I thought I was getting old and that was just how it was going to be for the rest of my life. You see – I am overweight, have mechanical heart valve, high blood pressure, bad knees and a variety of other issues and I just accepted the fact that this was supposed to be how I felt. I grabbed fast food or something for dinner because I had to have food for my family (I am the mom!) Of course I was too tired to cook – I was barely making it through the day. I literally was too tired to get out of my car and make it inside – but I usually did.  Do you think I worked out – well I had a fitness center membership and paid my dues – but I guess you have to go – huh?  I literally had no energy to workout or even walk the halls at work.   Why would I think this was normal? How STUPID is that?
When autumn came, I had hit rock bottom…I was too tired to keep going. I had convinced myself I had cancer and thought I had a stroke or TIAs. Oh yeah, my left hand and arm started tingling…and still hasn’t stopped. I got to where I was not even able to think, forgot things, missed meetings and was just not myself. Who was this person? What in the world was going on? Where was I? Who was I? This tortured me even more. I usually can write about my thoughts, feelings and am never at a loss for words but honestly – I was having trouble even saying words. I didn’t tell anyone except that I wasn’t feeling great. Finally, I went to the doctor – had tests and blood work. I mean a lot of tests and a lot of blood. I had several things physically wrong with me but the biggest thing was that I was completely depleted of Vitamin D. I was even taking a supplement because this time last year – it was low. Vitamin D – the “Sunshine” vitamin is so important and I never even thought about it! I started taking a prescribed Vitamin D as small as a Tic-Tac and it has made such a difference. I have a few other issues and am doing some procedures and Physical Therapy to improve other parts of my body but a simple little vitamin has changed my life. So why did I wait so long to take care of me? Why didn’t I realize that I couldn’t take care of others if I fell apart and in fact, they may have to care for me – what a burden I would be then!
So for 2016, I have found “me” again and I am happy! I like and love me! I am back to who I used to be. Now I am going to be the first to tell you – there are many areas that I need to improve but I am working hard on those every day! I am excited to be going into a new year and finding a better me at the end of the year!

Images and videos of who loves me
I encourage you to take care of yourself. Don’t miss all those warning signs. You are not supposed to feel bad, if you do, go see a doctor. Do something for yourself – it is the best investment you can make. Also, most important…listen to God and follow his plans…he knows the way and he will guide you.
I hope to hear from all of you as you start the New Year to find yourself!

The “F” Word


I guess you thought I was talking about a different “f” word, huh?  Well, no – I am talking about the word – FINE.  How often is something really wrong with you and you just say, “I’m Fine”.  I said that to my doctor yesterday and she laughed and she said well why did you come in? ” I can see in your eyes that you are not fine so why did you say it?”  It made me think that she is right…so often we just say, I’m fine and are really thinking that there is not enough time to share all that is really wrong.  Do you do that?  I think we all do!  I am going to make an effort to be more open and honest and share with people how that I am doing or what I am thinking.  How many of you have been told where you are going to eat dinner and you just shrug and say…”that’s fine….and you know you will be miserable.  Why do we not speak up?  i think it is because we don’t want to be confrontational.  You know – people want you to be happy so speak up.  I understand why you don’t – you don’t want to seem like you are disagreeing or you don’t want to cause trouble or that you are selfish.  I have learned that many times the other person was trying to please me in the first place and they just didn’t make a good recommendation.  I do think you should not always get your way and that you should definitely compromise but you should mention what you want to do.  So often we think others know what we are thinking, or we think that it is obvious…well it isn’t.  If you want to go on vacation or do something fun – talk it out with your family.  Maybe someone is just waiting for you to say something.  If you have a thought or idea at work – share it – don’t be afraid to speak your mind – it does matter!

When someone says that they are fine – that should be a warning sign that something is wrong.  If someone says that to you – ask them some deeper questions, show them you care and you want to know what is going on.  Many times they know if they start talking, they may not be able to stop or they may even start crying.  Be a friend…talk it through with them!  Think about how you feel when you say that you are doing fine!   I hope that you will all start speaking your mind and tell how you really feel and I hope that many of you will feel that you are fabulous!Image

God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us. Glory to God in the church! Glory to God in the Messiah, in Jesus! Glory down all the generations! Glory through all millennia! Oh, yes! Ephesians 3:20-21 MSG   

So when you are just feeling “Fine” – look to God and he can do so much for you – just let him!




Well, I have struggled for words lately – I think it was because I planned to write about the parables but I can’t force words to come and I really do better when I just speak what is on my mind.  I haven’t done so well lately.  I haven’t been eating right, really not exercising much and just haven’t felt great.  I have got to get back on track.  I have gained some weight back and I have just felt down and out.  How dare I let myself get into the rut that I was in this time last year.  I think I must go so fast and furious that about this time every year – I crash.  So I am going to start back and I am going to be strong!  I am going to get people to hold me accountable, I am going to write down my goals and I am going to pray.  I have decided to do the Jillian Michaels Detox Tea – I can drink 60 oz every day I am sure.  I will start eating better – no processed foods, eat more proteins, fruits and vegetables.  I will exercise every day – some way some how.  I will do pushups, ab crunches, planks, burpees (Did I really say that???) and be focused.  I know that I can get back to where I want to be.  I hope you will join me.  We all get down and out, it’s just all about getting back in the game, get up off the couch and get going!  You can do it and I can too!   Come on – what are you waiting for?  What will you do today? 



Declutter – do I really have to say very much?  I think you know what I mean.  OK – so if anyone looked in my closet or some of my drawers or cabinets – they would probably call a reality television show – the Hoarders…..well – my closet contains sizes from small to XXL…say what?   How crazy is that? I hate to get rid of anything because maybe I could fit in again….why do we think like that?  First of all – some of those things have been in my closet for years…ok decades…not only do they have dust on the shoulders…they may a little moldy. Amazingly enough – I don’t feel like I have anything to wear.    I plan to start cleaning the closets, going through my stuff and getting organized.

Many people think I am a very organized person.  I can plan, coordinate, collaborate with the best of them, but my own stuff – I just don’t take time.  So it is time to tackle the mess – in my house, at my office, in my car, and most importantly my mind.  Let’s do some decluttering – some real spring cleaning.  So where do I start?  Well – they say it is best to start with something I can do pretty quick that can inspire me…ok – my car….I will clean out my car tomorrow – vacuum, (Get all those crumbs…)  wipe the dust, throw away all the trash – clean the glove compartment….shine the tires, run through the car was – I mean take my car through the car wash – although the running the car wash has always been a dream of mine.  (Sorry I got distracted…)

So I am planning on having a yard sale so I will get some boxes and just start packing up stuff.  I will go through my stuff – one shelf at a time, one drawer at a time, take it piece by piece…not too much at once.  If I do one task every day – I will make progress.  Face it – we all have things we could – Toss, Keep or Sell.  Let’s get started.  So that sounds pretty easy.  I think I am ready for less clutter, less stuff…(secretly thinking I want some new stuff…)

Physically – it all makes sense…mentally – well that seems alot harder.  How do you declutter your mind?


I found this and thought it was great and I also thought I would share some of my thoughts.  When I like to clear my mind – it is usually best to get very relaxed, maybe dark with a little candlelight that has a perfect calming scent.  I like to close my eyes and put a cloth on them so not any light peeks through.  Sometimes I like music – sometimes not.  Then – this is important…just breathe.  I mean in through your nose for ten seconds and blow it out for ten seconds.  Just think about breathing….nothing else.  Focus!  OK, after I have done that for about five seconds, a warm bubble bath – helps me too!  I turn off all electronics (let me tell you – that is a big deal for me!)  I read, I write – journal or blog, I sit on the porch, or maybe I do NOTHING. Sometimes I meditate and every time – I pray.  God can help clear your mind and just rejuvenate you – so let go and let God.  Even when I was younger – I found a private place that I would just go and think.  I had the perfect little hill that overlooked a lake and had beautiful wildflowers – it was my place.  Find one for yourself.


This to help with your change…

Physical – Plan your work, work your plan… Determine what you want to clean up and clear out – declutter.  Start slow, have successes and keep at it!

Mental – Find a way to relax.  I have a friend who is helping keep me accountable.  She texts me at 9:00 pm every night to make sure that I have decluttered my mind.  (Thanks Rebecca!)

Spiritual – Find “your place” and let God help you relax and focus on him.

Prayers for you as you focus on breathing and decluttering your life!

Pray for me that I declutter –  mentally, physically and spiritually.

Love ya,


Do not be anxious about anything but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:6-7

Strive for Progress – not Perfection

imperfectpersonperfectgodI think we would all like to strive for perfection.  Some feel like that is what they live for – to be perfect in something in their life – maybe sports, maybe attitude, or maybe just in general.  Well, I am here to tell you – I am a perfectionist that is greatly flawed.  I think it is ok to strive to do things perfect but we are humans – we are not Jesus – so we make mistakes.  The definition of PERFECTION is:

1: the quality or state of being perfect: as

a: freedom from fault or defect : flawlessness

b: maturity

c: the quality or state of being saintly

2 a: an exemplification of supreme excellence

b: an unsurpassable degree of accuracy or excellence

3: the act or process of perfecting

I like #3 – the act or process of perfecting – it doesn’t say – is perfect.  I think we should all strive to do things perfect knowing that it is almost an impossible goal, but it making progress towards our goal.  I realized that I had allowed myself not to do things because I wouldn’t be perfect or in some cases, even good.  I really like being the best at what I do or if I am in charge – I want things to go smoothly and I want to be the best.  I did not exercise for health reasons (or so I said) but I realized that it was because I didn’t want to be awkward or struggle to complete something.  I have learned that you just have to get out there and get started…I am still a VERY long way from perfection but it sures is closer than when I wasn’t even getting off the couch.  I am making HUGE progress!

With our perfect God, it is sometimes imtimidating to serve him because I just didn’t feel worthy – do you ever feel that way?  I make so many mistakes – and will never ever be perfect in my service to God.  I can strive for perfection though – I can keep going forward, keep improving and keep progressing. That is what God wants. God wants our best but he knows it is flawed.  He also don’t want us to get to prideful and bragging about ourselves.  He wants us to work hard, give our best and be humble.  So get out there and make progress!

Proverbs 29:23  The Message (MSG)

23 Pride lands you flat on your face;     humility prepares you for honors.


Physical Fitness – 5 perfect form push-ups – really focus on how you are doing your push ups – make progress.

Mental Fitness – Read current events – get relevant with what is going on in our world.  It is important that you stay current and know how things effect you!

Spiritual Fitness –  Matthew 5:48  New International Version (NIV)

48 Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

Even the Bible encourages us to be perfect.  Here is a great link to a message about being perfect.  I hope you will read it.  http://www.albatrus.org/english/living/kingdom/be_ye_perfect.htm

Prayers for you as you strive for perfection but are making progress. Practice makes perfect….be consistent, persistent and continue every day!

Pray for me as I strive for perfection but understand that making progress is certainly better than not performing or even trying and pray as I continue this awesome journey of physical, mental and spiritual fitness.

Love ya!